from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
