so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
