this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
