Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize