my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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