i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
wow bdsm is so cute
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