She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
