i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
