billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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