i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
