fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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