Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
