And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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