my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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