So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize