Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
