I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
