dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
