I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
