someone get that fucking seahorse.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
