Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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