ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
