my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
