thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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