I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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