You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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