Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
