Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
