just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
