Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
