I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
