a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
