I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
