New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
