I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am naked and annoyed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
