if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
