hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
