just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He keeps bees of course he's weird
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
