i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
