the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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