I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize