I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
