even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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