At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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