We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
