i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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