I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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