put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
