So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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