Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
