There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
