That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
