i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
