I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
