I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
