Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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