my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
