My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
