we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is the high leading the old right now
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
