"it" just moved
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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