Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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