We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate all girls vehemently.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
