508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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