You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
