Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize