the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ttyl tear gas
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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