when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
