Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm just crazy horny about you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
