It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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