When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
