If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
