I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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