Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
