i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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