You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
