i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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