I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
